Of Rocks and Complaining
by glittering wolf
Summary: Tucker missed Church more than he let on, and Agent Washington could just not replace the former blue team CO.


**Hi! :) I'm back. I wrote this one-shot after all the feels I got from the last episode. I hope ya'll like it. **

**I don't own Red vs Blue. Those awesome guys at Rooster Teeth do.**

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The first person he'd hung out with in the army was Captain Flowers.

He'd been alright in a creepy, old guy kind of way, buy Tucker was very relieved when Church was transferred to Blood Gulch with him. Finally he had somebody to bitch too and do stupid shit with.

Sure Church was an asshole, but he was the only asshole around his age to hang out with that wouldn't shoot him on sight.

Tucker would take what he could get.

His military days were spent talking with Church, throwing rocks through the teleporter, and trying to steal the cobalt soldier's sniper rifle. It was an okay life, and after Flowers had that heart attack, he and Church mostly kept up their routine. Although Church did become a bit more of an asshole, trying to take charge and get them to do stuff once in a while.

Tucker mostly just ignored him. Honestly he would have been happy to keep up that same routine for the rest of military career. Standing around and talking with Church and maybe throwing more rocks through the teleporter.

Those plan were dashed quickly once Caboose showed up.

First Church got blown up and Tucker was left with his final parting words, "I always hated you the most."

Nothing really nice, but coming from Church, that was almost an 'I love you.' Not like it mattered anyway. The prick just came back no matter how many times Caboose team killed him. Though Tucker wouldn't admit it, he was glad that Church came back. It gave Caboose a perfect target for practicing his fighting. Besides the rookie was terrible at talking. And throwing rocks through teleporters.

Church stuck around for pretty much the rest of his tour in Blood Gulch, giving orders that Tucker either ignored or begrudgingly followed. The cobalt soldier died a few more times. Tucker got impregnated by some creepy pervy alien. They went on a quest to stop O'Malley that failed miserably. Pretty much what he should have expected from their craptastic team.

Sure they actually got to know those assholes across the canyon. They were still assholes, but at least he found out their names. Plus he got a kick-ass sword.

That didn't mean he wasn't ecstatic to leave the stupid canyon. He said his goodbyes to Church, and they almost had a moment, but they decided to screw it and insulted each other.

Tucker never saw Church again, or at least, not the one from Blood Gulch. Apparently the cockbite went and got himself fried in an EMP. Also turned out he was an AI. In retrospect it was obvious, and Tucker wasn't about to admit he hadn't figured it out.

He felt a little sad that Church wasn't going to come to his rescue and help him fight off CT. Even though Church probably wouldn't have hit any them. Especially if he was using that stupid sniper rifle. Still wouldn't been nice to bitch about the war like old times. Although he'd rather die than admit it, Tucker had missed the wannabe blue team leader.

He missed those simpler times when assholes who could actually aim wouldn't fire at him 24/7. The time when he stole Captain Flowers's armor, made obnoxious sex puns to Tex, bitched with Church, and throwing rocks through the teleporter.

He couldn't believe he actually missed Church. At least he could have done his ghost…AI thing and possessed one of the guys to try and let them go or called his ex-girlfriend to come and beat everyone up. He would have at least been more helpful than Caboose, Sarge, or Grif.

Then of course being Church, the blue came back to life…again. That asshole could just not stay dead.

Unfortunately, Church really wasn't himself. First he acted like Caboose, then he seemed to go back to normal and immediately ran off with Tex and got himself locked in a computer thing. So technically, Church was dead…..again!

Tucker thought they would move on with their lives, Wash would join their team, and they'd ride off into the sunset or some shit. The reds had even been nice enough to give them a lift in their air vehicle.

Tucker was half right. Wash joined their team, then so did Carolina. Then they ran off into another dangerous mission. Ironically enough to save Church although those missions never seemed to turn out well.

Carolina didn't listen to his complaints. She insisted that they find Church for some reason or another that Tucker didn't care about. All he knew was that they found Church, and he the cyan Spartan finally got a chance to actually talk with Church again after all these years.

Church was still an asshole. Hell, if anything, he was an even bigger asshole than before. He was on their side for a little bit, but then he hung out with Carolina for one day, and suddenly the asshole that Tucker knew wasn't there anymore. He was replaced by a revenge seeking monster. Who was still an asshole.

Once again Church left on yet another crazy mission with a girl who was even crazier than Tex, and Wash just kind of replaced Church. He wasn't as much fun to talk to, but at least he could steal that stupid flag.

Eventually they decided to go save Church, and Tucker assumed things could return to normal. They were in a new place, stuck with a bunch of assholes that lived across the canyon. It seemed like the perfect place for things to go back to the nice, non-lethal way they used to be.

Then Church left him all alone with Captain Crazy aka Wash.

Tucker was beyond pissed. He'd thought he'd finally have a chance to relax, and maybe bitch about how much the army sucked. Instead he was stuck with some crazy ex-freelancer who wanted him to do actual work.

Then if things weren't bad enough, Caboose overthrew Wash with the help of his stupid robot and now Tucker had a crazy robot threatening to shoot him. Great. Just. Fucking. Great.

Tucker fiddled with the radio he'd been ordered to fix. He should have gotten Simmons to help. That nerdy red could have probably converted to radio into another lame version of a social media site.

Tucker was busy punching the radio when he heard footsteps behind him. Wash had come. Probably to yell at him for not doing his work right.

Tucker was fed up. He hated this canyon. They were low on food and power, the Reds hated them again, a crazy robot had seized control of the team, Wash was an asshole, and worse of all. Tucker had lost his best friend.

Angry tears filled Tucker's eyes though he doubted Wash could tell with his helmet in the way. Church was gone and that was the only person he could talk too. Caboose was too stupid, Freckles was too scary, Sarge was too crazy. Grif would probably be shot on sight if Tucker tried to talk to him, and Simmons was too upset to hold a decent conversation. Wash was the worst. He was supposed to replace Church, but he was nothing like him. He was a bossy, asshole, but he was nothing like Church, and Tucker told him as much.

That's when Wash decided to open up. He talked about Freelancer. A topic that had been off limits for as long as Wash had known them. Tucker couldn't help but smile at the story Wash told him, but as nice as the story was, it didn't really explain much.

So Wash talked some more. He talked about how he'd never been a leader, and he wasn't sure how to lead a squad. Tucker could relate to that. He'd felt the same way after Flowers had died. Technically he'd been the next highest rank, but he'd decided to let Church lead because he was sure he'd mess it up. Besides he didn't really give a fuck.

So, he decided to give Wash tips on being a good leader, and Wash actually listened to him for once. They'd even bantered like he used to do with Church. Then Wash actually said something nice to him for once. It was actually a cool moment.

So of course Caboose had to come and ruin it. The idiot was saying something about cleaning, Simmons and a nervous breakdown or some shit. Tucker sighed inwardly as Caboose walked away.

That's when Wash decided he needed to run off again. Tucker was shocked. "You're leaving me again?" he asked, words that he'd always wanted to say to Church before the cockbite ran off on some other stupid adventure. But Wash said he had a plan. He just needed some time, and he needed Tucker's help to get it.

Tucker wasn't sure about that, but he'd agreed anyway. At least the cockbite said he'd come back. More than Church ever did. Wash walked away and Tucker watched his retreating figure, a small smile on his face. Maybe Wash wasn't so bad after all. Maybe after the whole Freckles thing was fixed, they could stand around and swap horror stories from war and talk about how much it all sucked. Hell, maybe they could find a teleporter and throw some rocks through. Just like old times.

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**Sorry if they seemed OOC, but I always thought there was more depth to the relationships between the characters than they let on. Anyway, I'm trying to write more chapters for my stories for any of you who care, and I hope to update at least one of them soon.**


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